Post by management1 on Oct 31, 2004 10:29:22 GMT -5
SUNDAY 31st OCTOBER 2004- CLASH OF THE TITANS
WENGER vs FERGUSON
daryl bill
The day started badly Ferdinand (marshall) had a bit of a party and too much to drink (never mind forgetting the drugs test he was pissing pure scotch malt).
He had taken Kean (carl) , giggs (guy) , Neville (the gay one - Ash) and Ronaldo (laing- he wishes) with him.
There was not a page 3 bird in sight not even laings usual fatbird was at marshall mansions when a furious ferguson and the rest of the squad arrived to kick some butt and wake up sleeping beauty and the seven dwarfs (good video that one).
They finally arrived at the ground. All the team talk, tactics, pre match warm up routines that i spent ages dreaming up (well five minutes last nite) went out the window along with a few teddies one dummy and a piece of pizza!
Out onto the battlefield we went. To play after the preparation we had made the charge of the light brigade look like a sound military decision!
It got worse Wenger (daryl) who normally couldn't find the onion bag in a french onion sellers market scored after a good save by fatboy jim which no one collected the second ball from. My resignation was looking odds on me and megson down the job centre monday!
O'neills finally took the hint and ralleyed well making Fergie proud but they still couldn't score in a brothel with a fist full of fivers.
But then a long through ball by Ian sent Pat clear he took a touch, he took two he ran at the keeper he jinked left and right and must have bloody hypnotised him because he missed his shot but it still dribbled through the keepers legs for a goal! Just the luck he needed.
Now like owen pat was off. After loads of good football and more missd chances a second goal after a saved free kick pat put the ball in only for the referee to disallow it for offside (as the advert says should have gone to specsavers!)
A few minutes later pat latched onto a through ball and scored. 2-1 o'neills (not often i say that)
Number three for pat our hatrick hero and man of the match came from a clearance which he rifled into the top right hand corner! (i taught him that did you not see my three previous efforts especially the one that went for a throw?)
A few substitutions were made by Taff my little number two.
Then fergie stuck two fingwers and a large slice of pepporami pizza up at wenger, now in goal and as the ball was cleared from a corner put the ball into the top right hand corner with a spectacular overhead kick ( a man my age should not be able to get his leg over like that! - he normall can't shouts Mrs.Bill)
Ash thats why i go up and YOU DON'T!
The game ended O'NEILS 4 Mitcham Dynamos 1
Respect to the opposition a young side with a lot of potential to do well (oh and daryl and simon play for them too!)
If i forgot to offend you during this report i apologise and will get round to you next week.
Lets get our season going now or i'll trow my teddies around take my ball home and tell my mummy you are all be horrid to me!
Please be on time next week!
WENGER vs FERGUSON
daryl bill
The day started badly Ferdinand (marshall) had a bit of a party and too much to drink (never mind forgetting the drugs test he was pissing pure scotch malt).
He had taken Kean (carl) , giggs (guy) , Neville (the gay one - Ash) and Ronaldo (laing- he wishes) with him.
There was not a page 3 bird in sight not even laings usual fatbird was at marshall mansions when a furious ferguson and the rest of the squad arrived to kick some butt and wake up sleeping beauty and the seven dwarfs (good video that one).
They finally arrived at the ground. All the team talk, tactics, pre match warm up routines that i spent ages dreaming up (well five minutes last nite) went out the window along with a few teddies one dummy and a piece of pizza!
Out onto the battlefield we went. To play after the preparation we had made the charge of the light brigade look like a sound military decision!
It got worse Wenger (daryl) who normally couldn't find the onion bag in a french onion sellers market scored after a good save by fatboy jim which no one collected the second ball from. My resignation was looking odds on me and megson down the job centre monday!
O'neills finally took the hint and ralleyed well making Fergie proud but they still couldn't score in a brothel with a fist full of fivers.
But then a long through ball by Ian sent Pat clear he took a touch, he took two he ran at the keeper he jinked left and right and must have bloody hypnotised him because he missed his shot but it still dribbled through the keepers legs for a goal! Just the luck he needed.
Now like owen pat was off. After loads of good football and more missd chances a second goal after a saved free kick pat put the ball in only for the referee to disallow it for offside (as the advert says should have gone to specsavers!)
A few minutes later pat latched onto a through ball and scored. 2-1 o'neills (not often i say that)
Number three for pat our hatrick hero and man of the match came from a clearance which he rifled into the top right hand corner! (i taught him that did you not see my three previous efforts especially the one that went for a throw?)
A few substitutions were made by Taff my little number two.
Then fergie stuck two fingwers and a large slice of pepporami pizza up at wenger, now in goal and as the ball was cleared from a corner put the ball into the top right hand corner with a spectacular overhead kick ( a man my age should not be able to get his leg over like that! - he normall can't shouts Mrs.Bill)
Ash thats why i go up and YOU DON'T!
The game ended O'NEILS 4 Mitcham Dynamos 1
Respect to the opposition a young side with a lot of potential to do well (oh and daryl and simon play for them too!)
If i forgot to offend you during this report i apologise and will get round to you next week.
Lets get our season going now or i'll trow my teddies around take my ball home and tell my mummy you are all be horrid to me!
Please be on time next week!
sorry bill im not 21 every day you know