Post by management1 on Apr 4, 2005 7:47:04 GMT -5
Match report back on this side of the web due to losing two long winded boring unfunny reports from last few weeks!
The sun was out, the sky was blue, there was not a cloud to spoil the view but would the lager louts of O'Neills ruin my day?
Jim at a school disco, a late txt from Marsh and the gang going "up town" (TO THE REST OF US THAT MEANS LONDON TO THEM IT MEANS CROYDON!) were we to have a shambles of a morning?
No we were not! 10 am at the ground and everyone was assembled in the dressing room. A couple of bleary eyes and the stench of stale beer but on time and up for it!
The starting eleven and the 5 subs including myself made their way to the pitch. Malden Town a tough outfit but we have beaten them twice already this season.
The game started well and Jim had plenty of time to sober up, file his nails, do his make up our Daffid only gay looked in fine form as he did not actuallly have to do too much for the first time in history.
O'Neills had the chances, Pat had a great run through but borrowed bills first touch which reached the keeper from the half way line!
Guy scored a sublime lob only for it to be ruled offside by the puppet linesman for Malden whos arm was attached to the centre backs mouth (which is why it was constantly going up and down as the gobby cunt couldn't shut the fuck up! (only joking if you read this matey!)
half time came and it was 0-0 a clean sheet in the offing i hear you cry, nah bollocks we never keep a clean sheet i thought to myself! (yes i do think sometimes!)
Just after half time Wallis made way for Mark to try and spark up the left abit. The noise from O'Neills was still very quiet but the battling was good and Ian "hoof it" "mammoth" Slaughter the man with more nicknames than Appollo Creed (he of the rocky films fame!) kept the defence solid. With Marsh his faithfull mute sidekick always in tow!
then with 67 minutes gone Mark swung in a corner Matt headed in and one nil O'Neills! Yes we scored direct from a corner a first i believe!
Pat and Matt our new up front pair (sounds a bit of a gay couple really Pat and Matt! or two really old sad capital radio dj's!) kept probing oh er mrs the defence Pat deliberatly letting one of the opposition kick him and trip him up winning a free kick! Shame on you Pat you must never fall down even when lumps are kicked out of you according to the nice man who then accused you of diving and pushed you away! (that will be that gobby git again!)
Marsh went off injured (or was it he could save £2.50 by coming off? tight git!) to be replaced by carl and a shuffle of the pack, with rich going to centre back Dan who had come on for guy to left back and carl to be our third right winger of the day and what an inspired managerial move by bill that was (heap praise on myself, feel the love in the room, big it up bad boy!)
Carl received a pass from Pat (yes i'll give you the assist!) ran round one down the wing , round a second, cut in we all thought he would cross to matt but no he miskicked it straight past the keeper and in whata goal! (i know it was not a miskick but wheres the fun in taking the piss out of that!) a contender for goal of the season? No close but Dans overhead just shades it still!
2-0 game over. Malden town had only managed a few chances, jim had touched the ball about six times and after 90 minutes O'Neills had 3 more points in the bag, and dare i say it? yes please dare you! We had A CLEAN SHEET! (jims first clean sheet of the season and that includes wet dreams, soiling himself after too much to drink and his make up coming off in bed!)
our third , yes third win on the trot 9 points out of nine and what did this mean to the bets?
O'NEILLS 17 POINTS (still only third from bottom but 3 games in hand and could finish fourth!)
Mitcham Dynamos 7 Points with one game to go ( a maximum of 10 points at the finish of the season)
that means 7 point differential, take away the six from the two games together 1 point above 10 means that all bets for O'NEILLS players are won! (Ian even started to wonder about the clean sheets! - even i wouldn't bet on that one matey) ;D
Once again if i failed to insult you i do apologise and next week will rip the piss out of you all you bunch of no good, piss head, wankers (oops just described myself to a tee!)
Cup final 8th may invite family friends etc, all ex players of the team more than welcome, piss up after wards in O'NEILLS then dare i say Chiggies!
Next week double header against Melfort Eagles 10.30 Prince georges two 60 minute games as many players as possible please boys.
Week off after that i believe followed by Cds at home and then the final!
May the force be with you. Pope John Paul r.i.p (marsh shut it!) go in the grace and favour of the lord our god!
management1
The sun was out, the sky was blue, there was not a cloud to spoil the view but would the lager louts of O'Neills ruin my day?
Jim at a school disco, a late txt from Marsh and the gang going "up town" (TO THE REST OF US THAT MEANS LONDON TO THEM IT MEANS CROYDON!) were we to have a shambles of a morning?
No we were not! 10 am at the ground and everyone was assembled in the dressing room. A couple of bleary eyes and the stench of stale beer but on time and up for it!
The starting eleven and the 5 subs including myself made their way to the pitch. Malden Town a tough outfit but we have beaten them twice already this season.
The game started well and Jim had plenty of time to sober up, file his nails, do his make up our Daffid only gay looked in fine form as he did not actuallly have to do too much for the first time in history.
O'Neills had the chances, Pat had a great run through but borrowed bills first touch which reached the keeper from the half way line!
Guy scored a sublime lob only for it to be ruled offside by the puppet linesman for Malden whos arm was attached to the centre backs mouth (which is why it was constantly going up and down as the gobby cunt couldn't shut the fuck up! (only joking if you read this matey!)
half time came and it was 0-0 a clean sheet in the offing i hear you cry, nah bollocks we never keep a clean sheet i thought to myself! (yes i do think sometimes!)
Just after half time Wallis made way for Mark to try and spark up the left abit. The noise from O'Neills was still very quiet but the battling was good and Ian "hoof it" "mammoth" Slaughter the man with more nicknames than Appollo Creed (he of the rocky films fame!) kept the defence solid. With Marsh his faithfull mute sidekick always in tow!
then with 67 minutes gone Mark swung in a corner Matt headed in and one nil O'Neills! Yes we scored direct from a corner a first i believe!
Pat and Matt our new up front pair (sounds a bit of a gay couple really Pat and Matt! or two really old sad capital radio dj's!) kept probing oh er mrs the defence Pat deliberatly letting one of the opposition kick him and trip him up winning a free kick! Shame on you Pat you must never fall down even when lumps are kicked out of you according to the nice man who then accused you of diving and pushed you away! (that will be that gobby git again!)
Marsh went off injured (or was it he could save £2.50 by coming off? tight git!) to be replaced by carl and a shuffle of the pack, with rich going to centre back Dan who had come on for guy to left back and carl to be our third right winger of the day and what an inspired managerial move by bill that was (heap praise on myself, feel the love in the room, big it up bad boy!)
Carl received a pass from Pat (yes i'll give you the assist!) ran round one down the wing , round a second, cut in we all thought he would cross to matt but no he miskicked it straight past the keeper and in whata goal! (i know it was not a miskick but wheres the fun in taking the piss out of that!) a contender for goal of the season? No close but Dans overhead just shades it still!
2-0 game over. Malden town had only managed a few chances, jim had touched the ball about six times and after 90 minutes O'Neills had 3 more points in the bag, and dare i say it? yes please dare you! We had A CLEAN SHEET! (jims first clean sheet of the season and that includes wet dreams, soiling himself after too much to drink and his make up coming off in bed!)
our third , yes third win on the trot 9 points out of nine and what did this mean to the bets?
O'NEILLS 17 POINTS (still only third from bottom but 3 games in hand and could finish fourth!)
Mitcham Dynamos 7 Points with one game to go ( a maximum of 10 points at the finish of the season)
that means 7 point differential, take away the six from the two games together 1 point above 10 means that all bets for O'NEILLS players are won! (Ian even started to wonder about the clean sheets! - even i wouldn't bet on that one matey) ;D
Once again if i failed to insult you i do apologise and next week will rip the piss out of you all you bunch of no good, piss head, wankers (oops just described myself to a tee!)
Cup final 8th may invite family friends etc, all ex players of the team more than welcome, piss up after wards in O'NEILLS then dare i say Chiggies!
Next week double header against Melfort Eagles 10.30 Prince georges two 60 minute games as many players as possible please boys.
Week off after that i believe followed by Cds at home and then the final!
May the force be with you. Pope John Paul r.i.p (marsh shut it!) go in the grace and favour of the lord our god!
management1
